


Red All Over My Lungs

by himamocas



Series: Forget Me Not [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Blood, Body Horror, Character Death, Flowers, Graphic Description, Graphic Violence, Hanahaki Disease, Insanity, M/M, Mutilation, Suicide, Unrequited Love, deranged, gruesome, hanahaki byou, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:20:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himamocas/pseuds/himamocas
Summary: Tweek had heard of people who would die due to severe, onesided love. He just didn't realize that it was supposed to be taken literally.





	Red All Over My Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even going to lie, guys. If you're vulnerable at any form of horror, PLEASE do not read this.

It hurt.

Tweek didn't know how long he had been on the floor, gasping for air, trying to hold onto the wearing fabric of his clothing, lungs wanting to pop any moment now, the petals in front of him looking more like blood the more he thought about it. He had been screaming for almost an hour. But it seemed that even the thick silence of the neighborhood wasn't enough for anyone to take notice of the writhing pain inside him. He coughed two more petals. Then three. And then all of a sudden, his world stopped.

Suddenly, the pain had vanished. Suddenly, his vision had become clearer. He was able to breathe again, although not like before. Something seemed to be poking his lungs. Something that rose his anxieties once again. However, Tweek had to reassure himself.

He was alive. He was okay.

Maybe the petals were just nothing.

Suddenly, he laughed. Tweek was probably just hallucinating. It was probably all a dream. And maybe he'll wake up, feeling fine. And maybe the petals he had seen were nothing but the result of sleep deprivation.

He could just go to bed and forget that Craig Tucker, the person he fell for since they were ten, gave his heart away to someone else.

He wouldn't do that, right?

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Saturdays were the worst. Not only was he restricted from hanging out with his friends but he was also forced to work in his family's coffee shop from sunrise to midnight. And with his parents gone due to "personal reasons", Tweek would have to handle everything from being the cashier to making the coffee to  _serving_ the coffee to cleaning the place to handling finances to locking up.

But the day was slow. And Tweek really didn't have much to do but stare at the outside world through the window. Among all of his worries were the deadlines he'd have to meet and the movie nights he'd have to reschedule due to his job. But they didn't matter. Even the customers seemed to be the least of his problems. Instead, something else had been bothering him.

He couldn't help but feel that he had forgotten something. And it made Tweek's insides ache. Suddenly, he couldn't move. Suddenly, he felt himself falling to the ground unbeknownst to those around him. He covered his mouth. Tears fell from his eyes before he started coughing. When he finally removed his hand in order to wipe whatever substance landed onto his mouth, he spotted something that made him even more sick. And all of a sudden, all the memories came back to him like a bullet.

_"You'll never guess what happened to Craig!"_

_"Dude, it was so awesome!"_

_"He finally asked Heidi out!"_

_"Craig and Heidi look so cute together!"_

_"I'm glad that you're happpy for them, Tweek!"_

One became two. Two became four. Four became eight. Eight became sixteen. Sixteen to thirty-two. Thirty-two to sixty-four. And then. And then. And then...

He felt something poking his lungs. Something sharp. Something pointy. Something that could probably cut him into pieces if he tried to move. Any tiny movement he'd make and his body would probably be ripped into shreds.

Tweek's heart pounded. But it wasn't the kind that he'd feel everytime he'd see  _him_. Or his eyes. Or his smile. Or the stars that made him look even lovelier than ever.

It stopped. By the time Tweek's vision became clearer, he found himself lying on a bed of roses. Petals were scattered all over the floor which made him even more anxious.

"Shit. My parents are going to kill me."

And then he winced. Suddenly, even talking pained him badly.

He looked up and saw the last person he _ever_ wanted to meet.

Craig's blank face looked at him in the eye. And even Tweek couldn't see any hint of worry in his expression. Wait. How long had he been waiting for him? Didn't Craig noticed? Did he suddenly not give a shit anymore to even  _check_ what was happening to him?

But seeing the girl behind him suddenly made more sense. Of course.

"Do you have an order, babe?"

Craig held onto her as if he'd die if he were to let go of her. Heidi giggled. And Tweek's insides were aching and making him even more sick.

The pain suddenly spread from his lower lungs to his shoulders. Tweek clenched onto the table. He couldn't look at them. Any moment now and he would probably fall and that would be  _really_ be embarrassing. He'd probably bring shame to his family. The shop would be closed because of him and he'll probably be sold as a slave. All because of this. All because of this unexplainable, painful, aching feeling that could probably kill him if he'd see anymore of this.

He wanted to cough. He felt the petals piling up his throat. Even screaming didn't seem to be the best of choices. Rather, he couldn't even produce a sound. He was starting to lose unbalance. He felt himself slowly swaying side to side to side to side to side to side to—

"Uh, hello?"

He hiccuped. A petal fell out. And before anyone else could even see, Tweek managed to shield it with his hand. He tried to swallow. But every attempt seemed like a failure. The more he could feel his presence, the weaker he'd get. Even seeing or remembering him felt like a sin.

Tweek used all of his strength just to look at them and act as if nothing had ever happened.

"S-Sorry, Craig! I-I must have zoned out! D-Didn't really sleep for a whole week, you know? What was it that you wanted?"

He had hopes that he'd get a pat on the head like he used to do before. But instead, Craig just sighed.

"One cappucino and espresso, please."

And the poking sensation suddenly branched out to his heart.

 

 

-

 

 

It had all started last Friday. Everything seemed too good for Tweek to even expect something bad to happen.

So when he found himself standing on the corner, watching _Craig Tucker_ kiss  _Heidi Turner_ on the lips in front of probably five hundred students who came from either South Park or Denver, all the good things that had happened to him suddenly vanished. And he watched as reality was suddenly being twisted right in front of him like someone squeezing blood out from their wound.

He couldn't breathe.

Everything became darker and darker until he couldn't even feel a thing anymore. He lost all connections with the world and landed in the shrouding darkness.

And when he woke up, everyone was gone. She was gone. He was gone. His Craig was gone. His Craig was no more. His Craig wasn't his anymore. His Craig became someone else's. His Craig wasn't his Craig anymore. His Craig became her Craig.

Something had taken ahold of his ribcage. But Tweek couldn't care less about it anymore.

He trudged the old, dying hallways of the school, unaware of a singular petal that was left behind. Unaware of the seeping branches that have slowly made themselves at home among his veins and ribcages.

By Monday, he had already almost two bags of petals kept in his room.

 

 

-

 

 

Hanahaki disease. An illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. And there were only two ways to cure it. The first was to have the feelings reciprocated. The other was through surgery where the flowers will be removed in exchange of their feelings.

When Tweek had first heard of the phrase, "Love can kill you.", he was entirely convinced that it was figurative. At the same time, he had heard of news stories when people would die of flowers growing inside them. When their bodies would be pierced by thorns. When their lungs would be exposed. 

So when he found out about this by recess of Monday, Tweek finally realized that it was supposed to be taken in a literal context. At the same time, he panicked. Two of those solutions, he figured, were impossible to do. 

To start with, he couldn't afford a surgery. And he hated needles and scalpels more than thorns. And his parents wouldn't even care. No one would. Not even him. Not even the person he had trusted for the last four years.

And winning Craig's heart would be impossible. Craig wouldn't love a mess such as him. He would never fall for green eyes or unruly blonde hair or random noises that would come out every ten minutes. He wouldn't love a coffee-addict. He wouldn't love someone so sleep-deprived—so depressed—so anxious—so dumb—so paranoid and insane such as him.

Instead, he would fall for brown hair. And brown eyes. And simple smiles. And a simple mind. And funny jokes. And a carefree atmosphere. And a brain full of knowledge. And basically everything Tweek wasn't: normal.

So will he die, letting the thorns take ahold of his life? Will he die coughing out a garden full of roses and blood? Will he just let the pain continue? Will he do it just so he can see Craig smile even if his eyes are on someone else?

He coughed out three petals. Then six. Then thirty.

They were the reddest of red. So red that he was so sure that he wasn't coughing rose petals but blood. But he found beauty in them. He loved how red those petals were. It brought him back to when they were kids. When they planted flowers (whilst ignoring Cartman's snarky remarks) on Craig's backyard. When his eyes caught him laughing and smiling ten or eleven times. When his sun-bathed face made Tweek's heart swell for the first time in his life. When he felt something that he couldn't put in words. When Tweek, for the first time, thought of the life he could have if Craig were to be with him. When Tweek was so sure that Craig did something to make him more alive than ever. That made him at least fifty-six percent sure that life was already getting better. That began the long journey towards the conflicting realization.

Tweek Tweak was in love with Craig Tucker.

And here he was, coughing petals, letting the thorns poke and pierce his lungs even if they hurt just so he can see Craig. Just so he can see his smile and hear his voice and think of the already impossible-to-happen future. Just so he can just  _see_ him wander the Earth without a care.

At least he was happy, Tweek thought.

And yet, he wouldn't mind it if it meant seeing Craig.

By the end of the day, he had four bags of petals hidden in his room.

 

 

-

 

 

By Tuesday, he felt the thorns already making themselves at home in the little cuts they made on his lungs. He saw Craig and Heidi together around eight times. He had six bags of petals kept in his room.

 

 

-

 

 

By Wednesday, he felt his heart slowly giving up. He saw Craig and Heidi together around fifty times. He had ten bags of petals in his room.

 

 

-

 

 

By Thursday, he had bought a dissecting kit. He didn't see Craig and Heidi together at all. He had fifteen bags of petals in his room.

 

 

-

 

 

_You're a murderer._

By Friday, he couldn't take it anymore. 

Despite the writhing pain and the lack of oxygen his lungs were getting, Tweek managed to skip his second period. He ran away and chose to take refuge in the comforts of his room where his bags of petals were hidden. But he couldn't control himself anymore. Instead, he banged the door and ripped out the bags one by one, scattering the petals until they were all over the floor. Until those nineteen thousand, five hundred, and eighty-six petals covered his entire floor. Until the petals have already reached his ankles.

Seeing them together was too much. Seeing them laugh and smile at each other made him sick. Made him cough out even more petals. Made the thorns multiply. Made him choke. Made him suffer. Made him wish that the feelings would go away.

And on that night, he had planned on actually doing that.

_You murdered me with knives that you've never held._

He had taken his dissecting kit out and brought out the scalpel.

_Poisoned me with chemicals you've never touched._

Tweek had undressed himself before looking at himself in the mirror and coughing out even more petals.

He looked terrible.

_Killed me without your knowing. Mutilated my entire being with your stupid, little smile._

**Slash!**

Tweek stabbed himself before opening his chest up. Once that was done, he held onto his skin and ripped them out, screaming in pain, wanting to stop yet letting himself enjoy what he was doing to his own body. Blood poured out of his body in great amounts, staining the reddest of the red petals with a shade even darker. Seeing the colors mix made everything feel so wrong yet right. 

He dropped the bloody scalpel.

He looked at his ribcage. He saw the flowers falling one by one. He saw the thorns piercing his lungs, his stomach, his muscles and veins. Tweek felt so disgusted. He wanted to take them out.

_Is it weird that I still love you?_

His hands dug onto the thorns as he began to pull them out of his body. He heard parts of rhis ribcages breaking off, joining the vines of thorns as he removed them with his already bloody, scarred hands. He screamed in pain. He wanted to stop. He wanted to halt. He wanted to just come down and call for help. But something was stopping him. Something was making him enjoy this. Some of his guts had fallen off. His body was slowly decaying.

He had taken ahold of his scalpel. He cut up his throat, tore the skin apart, and plucked out all the petals one by one.

_No matter what the world might become one day, you'll always be mine, Craig._

His hands were already full of stabs and splinters. He thrashed around, yelling, holding onto his already broken ribcages. More blood poured out from his lungs as they made the flood of roses look more like a sea of his own red liquid. No one had taken notice of this. Rats slowly came out of their hiding spots to eat up Tweek's organs and flowers. Some had died due to the thorns. Others were injured. But the one who suffered the most was Tweek.

Tweek couldn't even care anymore. His rats were already devouring his entire body. This was the end. He had never expected things to be this way. But it was all because of his stupid heart that made him like this. That made him mutilate himself until he had finally realized that all of the flowers were gone.

When his vision finally became clear, he saw that the already twenty-three thousand petals have vanished. All he could see were the mice and his blood.

Tweek's eyes widened.

But before he could finally come to terms with that realization, he felt his world suddenly stopping. He couldn't hear nor see nor feel nor hear.

By the time the police had come, he was declared dead at exactly 2:30 in the morning. The cause, according to the police, was suicide. There were no petals nor thorns in his room or anywhere. Some had thought that it was murder. But autopsy had declared otherwise. Up until now, no one knows exactly what caused Tweek Tweak's death.

However, there were others who still heard his voice. Most of the witnesses were people he knew. People who were permanently traumatized from seeing Tweek's mutilated corpse.

And he only said one sentence at least twice a day. Some, thrice. And one, every five seconds.

_I still love you, Craig._

 

 

 

-

 

 

When Craig had woken up, the first thing he saw was a petal on his hand.

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Heidi still deserves better  
> 2\. This is the first time I've done something like this  
> 3\. I want to cry; and  
> 4\. I'm traumatized
> 
> Also OOT but this is a shameless self-promotion.
> 
> You see, I entered NaNo and I got my word goal and yadda yadda my novel is now up in Kindle Scout. Come check it out
> 
>  
> 
> [Here!](https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/2X0D2H5BUYM8D?openid.assoc_handle=amzn_flint_us&aToken=Atza%7CIwEBIMhT1i1V8CsawhvQyeAs_T-J5kHvT9-N79BD8XkC5Yv66UuDNeJp7zajYcqirrp_6xOHoL1nIU9IDQevY14K_sH2qBlgVVctZ0mXw8rlFlFx4e1MMRDi1b7m3yjxIqomC9P8bYCY0M6cdcFMy5FRvQcQ_KRf5uYCYyH3TEqSNIxpMhvK1DxBGR1x8g4-euwMkn0_OR3qGuMVGePvBbHQofGhUkmL3aS6EFoLA9JbYYIF83GpAjUyOhOq22u1o6HT8xKbjbBTpf3KoaatziHXt-3QuZlzU0tvHpJ8NzR-ZfSqk85Fz8Ux1f90e8qVglXiIIOq2SPXFAEjNGvJCWE_WD9EeG7l3klCHbBq5UnUFUoqfYrZKRsU8ecmRGm9HV5WSGCTtCjdkVlK3ZcznQNSZXMg&openid.claimed_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fid%2Famzn1.account.AFKRUWKE45Z5OXMXODPD4PKFL7NQ&openid.identity=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fid%2Famzn1.account.AFKRUWKE45Z5OXMXODPD4PKFL7NQ&openid.mode=id_res&openid.ns=http%3A%2F%2Fspecs.openid.net%2Fauth%2F2.0&openid.op_endpoint=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fsignin&openid.response_nonce=2017-12-02T05%3A36%3A18Z5916558900416986119&openid.return_to=https%3A%2F%2Fkindlescout.amazon.com%2Fp%2F2X0D2H5BUYM8D%3Fref_%3Dpe_886810_126055510&openid.signed=assoc_handle%2CaToken%2Cclaimed_id%2Cidentity%2Cmode%2Cns%2Cop_endpoint%2Cresponse_nonce%2Creturn_to%2Cns.pape%2Cpape.auth_policies%2Cpape.auth_time%2Csigned&openid.ns.pape=http%3A%2F%2Fspecs.openid.net%2Fextensions%2Fpape%2F1.0&openid.pape.auth_policies=http%3A%2F%2Fschemas.openid.net%2Fpape%2Fpolicies%2F2007%2F06%2Fnone&openid.pape.auth_time=2017-12-02T05%3A36%3A18Z&openid.sig=INWcfqENWrit0nTdgVUSECJ2UroM895o0jV2jpwZejU%3D&serial=)


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